Short Story ~ My Beloved Father♥️

                            My Beloved Father

                                 by Masnunah

              The cock had crowed, the dew had soaked the grass, the chill continued to envelop the sunny mornings. At precisely 04.40 am I woke up, surprised and it was almost noon I had not prayed at dawn. I immediately got up from my bed and went to the bathroom. I thought, why didn't anyone wake me up? I don't know what happened to the house people that morning. After praying I met Mom sitting in front of the house. She said "your father was in pain again last night" in a trembling tone. I went straight to my father's room, saw him feel painful. I did not dare to enter because I could not bear. Yes, this is me, the last child of my father's favorite daughter, and I really love her very much....

             I can only see him from behind the door, sobbing softly. I went to my brother's room and said that my father is in pain again. I'm confused what to do. Until finally my brother’s  wife called her friend who is a midwife. The midwife told my brother's wife to bring my father to be hospitalized in one of the hospitals in my city. Before that my father had been brought to a specialist doctor, the doctor confirmed that my father had a kidney infection. When I found out about my father's illness, I immediately lost my mind, my mind was wandering everywhere. I don't know what will happen to my father after that....

               That morning too, I smelled the aroma of medicine which greatly displeased my sense of smell. Well it is a hospital. At exactly 06.00 we arrived at the hospital, it was still quiet and there were few people doing activities. It was the first time I entered the hospital in 5 years. I don't like hospitals, but why should my dad be here?

              I went to see my brother who was in the emergency room, "how about daddy? How do doctors act? " I said in a low voice. "The doctor hasn't come yet, it's just that the nurse checked it out," said my brother. I went to my mother who was waiting outside the UGD, her face was bent, droplets of water slowly glided across her soft cheeks. I can't bear to see my mother like that. I hugged my mother and tried to calm her down....

               After going through several stages, my father moved from the UGD to the inpatient room. There I was very sad to see my father lying down with an infusion tube in his hand. The first time seeing my father helpless like this. Usually he is an angel as well as an ironmen for me....

               The next day after meeting the doctor, “as the doctors said before, you had a kidney infection. There are 2 choices, surgery or street medicine ”. Immediately the room became silent, my brother  and I looked at each other with shocked and teary eyes. In the end, we chose the drug path after negotiating with the householder. Also my father did not want to operate because he was afraid.. Honestly I am very sad, why does my father have to have a disease like that? Someone who is always cheerful and always entertaining at home suddenly becomes helpless like that....

               Five days stay in that very scary hospital, I hope that after this incident my father will be healthier and return to his activities as before. But to no avail, my father is still in pain every day and every night. His stomach hurt more and more like there was a stone in it. My family and I were confused, all methods have been tried, asked friends, asked siblings about the medicine for the disease. The days passed, the more drugs came in, the more pain my father felt....

              I did not concentrate on studying and doing my business, in my mind there was only the image of my father screaming in pain. I want to replace him. We have tried all forms of medicine, from those in pharmacies, doctors to traditional medicines, but the results are still the same. I was so confused by the family thinking that they were afraid that my father would be used by people, but it turned out that he was not, it was all purely an ordinary disease....

                At night when everyone was gathered in front of the house, I approached my mother who was lying down, "Mom, dad will get well right? I am sad to see that my father is often in pain, ”I said sadly, sitting down. "Your father will be cured,for sure" said the mother to strengthen me. I know it's just a calm sentence so that I don't drag on in sadness. In my heart I always pray that God will immediately remove my father's illness. I miss him smiling calmly. When it was late at night, we all went to bed....

                Morning has arrived again, the neighbor's cock began to crow, I woke up to hear the sound of the chicken. On purpose, I went straight to my father's room to see how he was. "Last night your father was still in pain," my mother told me. I didn't know what to do, I went straight to the bathroom and rushed to pray at dawn....

               After a while, because I still didn't get anything. My family intends to take my father  to a hospital in Surabaya. Again I feel very deep sadness. Especially now that the season for Covid 19.. I don't know, we just want to do what's best for our father. Arriving at the hospital, my father still had to go through several stages of examination, one of which was a swab test and isolation first. I was sad because I had to leave my father alone while in isolation. My mother said "poor your father, your father can nothing but have to be alone". Yes, it is true, as long as I was at my father's house, the day he couldn't do anything. But in the hospital you have to be alone. My mind and my family were not calm, until the next day my father could not come out even though the results had shown negative results from Covid 19. I don't know what the hospital wanted, I was so upset....

              Until finally I heard the news that my father fell in the bathroom. My brother immediately went to see the nurse who was looking after my father, angry at him wanting to see my father's condition. But to no avail, still can't see my father even though my father has fallen. After that incident, my brother immediately asked the nurse when my father could be transferred to the inpatient room. After several hours, finally my father was able to be transferred to the inpatient room, I was very relieved to see my father again. But I was sad because my father looked so weak. Like a fish without bones. When I got to the room, I offered to eat my father, but he didn't want. I fed him bread but what happened? My father couldn't even swallow the bread swallow the bread. "Come here, dad can't eat bread". I said on the phone to my brother while crying....

                I was so scared at that time, afraid of losing my father. As the youngest daughter that my father never lived in, I was very afraid of losing him. I can't imagine how my next life will be without a father. Two days later the doctor said "the father had a malignant tumor, and the tumor had spread to part of his stomach". Suddenly my brother and I were immediately shocked, because when at the hospital in my city the doctor said that my father had only a kidney infection. It turned out that the verdict was wrong....

                 I'm more and more afraid of losing it. Moreover, my father said he wanted to go home all the time, plus my father was stressed and traumatized by being alone during yesterday's isolation. After hearing the news that my father had a tumor and could not be operated on because my father's condition was weak, we decided to just go home, fulfilling my father's request, who had said he wanted to go home continuously. 

I don't know what filled my mind, while on the way home I constantly wanted to cry and was afraid of losing my father. But I still try to be calm so that my family is also calm, even though I know their thoughts are the same in chaos. Arriving at home, we were immediately greeted by relatives and neighbors who were waiting for us. But the welcome ended in tears because seeing my father's helpless condition.... 

                  A night at home did not make my father's condition better, but it got worse, so that there was regret in my mind because I had brought my father home even though his condition was not okay. At exactly 19.00 WIB on Wednesday night Thursday, my father breathed his last. I cried screaming screaming seeing my father was gone. Just yesterday I was terrified of losing it, but why now God must call him forever? It's really unfair for me who still can't make him happy. My older brother and people in my house kept hugging and giving me advice to make me strong. "Poor dad, you have to be strong for your father, let your father calm down there". Said my cousin....

                Really this is an incident that I never wanted. I lost the person I love so much forever. while I still can't make him happy. but destiny is still destiny. age also nobody knows. No matter what, I have to let my father go and fight to make my father happy even though he is gone....

Day by day I passed without a father by my side. everything feels different. I still imagine the face of my father when he was with me. His smile, his advice, is all I remember. I really miss him. my older brother continues to comfort me "Even though my father is gone, there is still me who will always be with you, sis" said my older brother to calm me down. I nodded and tried to sincerely face the real situation. "I have to be strong, I have to be able to make my mother proud and my father proud. And also I have to be able to remain independent" I said to myself....

                  After that incident, I tried to live independently and not bother my older brother. Because older brothers also have a wife and children. I continue the business that I have been in for 2 years. I try to keep an income so I can support my mother too. a sadness will come at any time, but we must not continue to grieve. All humans will die, it's just a matter of time. me, you, him or whoever it is....

                 Rising is the only way. being constantly sad is not the best way. your future is still long, so is mine too. I have to be able to graduate on time so that my father is proud there. I have promised myself to always fight no matter what. I will imitate my father who never gives up under any circumstances. My dad is great, my dad is my hero although now he is gone, his message and advice will always remember me....

                Family is my life. after all, I have the right to make them happy. After I let go of everything that happened in 2020. I am trying to be better in 2021, and everything has gone well, we are happy even though our father is gone, and we are sure our father is also happy in heaven. I am proud to be father's last daughter. Even though I'm not married yet, I'm sure I can find a replacement husband for my father who can make me happy and lucky ❤️